Last classes about developmental psychology has been pretty… Intense? On Tuesday we
started reading some texts related to attachment, two of them caught my
attention, well actually all of them were really interesting but the one about
the reading and the other about the man who didn’t want to marry surprised me (as a matter of fact he could not tolerate close relationships).
At first what I understood about the first one was that attachment is not
something that you can force, like when the parents read to the kid and then
when the kid grow up they force him to read which provoked that he didn’t want
to read anymore. But today, I have also discovered that this text shows how
attachment is not only linked with people, furthermore I have also learnt that
attachment changes through time as it seems to happen with this kid.
The one
about the man who had fear of commitment caught my attention because one of the
questions that our teacher gave us in our group. He asked us to think with our nowadays
knowledge what we would have done if we were the therapist, at first I had no clue at all, then I started to think in a deeper way that the answer maybe was as
simple as looking to the first years of the childhood of the man because the (early) relationship with your parents for example can influence your future
relationship as an adult.
Today,
we have done a quite funny… Experiment? While talking about the texts, the
teacher suddenly asked for our attention and told that he was going to give us
a present, then he gave us a pen. My first impression when he gave us a pen was like ‘’this is not good’’ ‘’something’s going to happen’’ ‘’let’s hope it’s
not an exam’’. Extrapolating this to my
life I can see some coincidences like when something comes to my life as a
present I start to think why this has come and if it’s a cheat. Then my mates
and I started to guess what the teacher was doing to us and trying to see some
hints about the teacher behavior but why was that if the teacher was only giving us a present? Why did I start to look for some hidden hints?
Then the teacher took from us our pens, I actually didn’t feel cheated because I knew something like that was
going to happen. I felt quite quietness because this meant that ‘’the pen
activity’’ was like an experiment, in this moment I suffered a transformation
because I realized what was happening but I decided to do what I would have
done if I wouldn’t have realized it so I chose not to take the pen again because Who
knows? Maybe the teacher is going to ask for it again.
Finally,
we talked about it and I was thinking about all of this experience. If I had not doubted about the teacher, I would have a new pen. But I didn't feel bad about it; I didn’t want
the pen from the beginning. The teacher told us that this kind of behavior is usually because of something that has happened in the past and that usually the
person disengage it and that by knowing it we could change it ( Sorry I do not understand what you mean here). The day has
ended with a lot of information and with a question, Should I do something
about it?
Hi Paloma
ReplyDeleteGreat reflection on the experience we had today and yesterday. I want you to notice that our reactions depend on our interpretations. We could say that we are creating meaning constantly. When we repeat our way of creating that meaning we can identify patterns or regularities. You described well the idea of being suspicious and attending to different clues because you noticed that something different and strange was happening and the possible meanings involved.... I like your attempt to identify moments of qualitative change (transformation) for example when you concluded that all was an experiment. Then you created your own context with your group. Being in an experiment is different than exploring a living exercise, than enjoying a present, than trying to figure out what is going on with curiosity, than confirming your worst expectations, etc...
Now I want you to notice all that. What I really like is your final question. Should you do something? But try the following questions: Would you like to do something? Do you need to do something? Do you want to do something? Do they sound the same?
I think we will have more time to discuss all this next week. I wanted to move on the next topic but maybe we will need to elabore just a bit more.
Thanks for sharing....
Alejandro